Art is permanent. It can't run away from me and hide from me like my thoughts and memories can. I wish I could have capitalized on that situation. I just want to be outside all the time. I am inside all the time. I feel trapped and enclosed. I want to be free and to exist in nature. Inside I am trapped from nature. I am shut away from my life force and my lover. I want to take art classes. I want my canvas and my brush and my paint and I want to sit in a tree and be free. I am siting in that tree in my front yard. In my head. It appears to be my new safe place. All I want is to live in that clean feeling of sunlight filtered through leaves and soft cool earth and moss beneath my toes. I like to climb trees and see the world from new angles. When I stay inside for too long I feel crushed and depressed.

In other news, I've discovered that college makes everyone a raging, bi-sexual, alcoholic sex deviant.